Those of you who know me know that I am NOT a morning person! If I could, I would stay up all night and sleep in all morning. Now that I have kids, that is no longer an option, of course. I still stay up all night (sometimes by choice, but not always) but now my kids are up bright and early, ready to get started on a full day of playing. I can stall them for a little while by turning on cartoons, but, eventually I have to drag myself out of bed to get Isaac ready for school. Now, not only am I not a good morning person, I am not a good SICK morning person! Lets just say these past few months we have had our fair share of stressful, horrible mornings, Isaac and I.
The worst came a couple of days ago. I got up and asked Isaac to get dressed then went downstairs to start making breakfast. I called him down about 10 minutes later- the other two came running, but, no Isaac. I went upstairs and he was in the toy room playing, still in his underwear. We made it through breakfast with minimal disagreements, although he wasn't happy about what I had him eat, and then I sent him back upstairs to (I know, it's so mean of me) get dressed. He stomped up the stairs and then just stood in his room and did nothing until I went in there and got mad at him again. He wouldn't put a shirt on so I found one for him. Of course, he got mad about that too. This kid is worse than a teenage girl! He doesn't have many shirts to choose from in the first place, but, I can guarantee that if it is one that I like, he hates it! Being the mean mom that I am, I made him put it on anyway and then told him to go in and brush his teeth. He stormed out of his room, but, do you think he went into the bathroom? Of course not. I went down to check on his brothers, and when I came back, there he was, back in the toy room. It was like a tug of war, all morning. I spent the whole time nagging and yelling at him and he spent the whole time doing everything BUT actually get ready for school. It was a miracle that he made it on time.
When I got home, I started feeling bad. I don't want Isaac to leave for school every morning upset and frustrated and I don't want to spend all morning nagging and being angry. I formulated a plan. When he got home from school that day, I sat him down and told him what I was thinking. The next day, I was going to tell him when he needed to start getting ready. I would make breakfast, and I would help him if he needed it, but I wasn't going to tell him what to do or when to do it. I told him that he has been getting ready for school for a year and a half now, he knows what needs to be done, so I was turning the responsibility over to him. I would give him a 20 min warning, 10 min warning, etc. but, he was going to be in charge, not me. He liked this idea, and so we started talking about what he needs to do in the morning- he rattled off a list. He was ready to get started.
The next day I did just as promised. I told him when it was time for him to start getting ready. He said OK and then did nothing. I made breakfast. Jason and Adam happily came in and ate, Isaac's plate just sat there. I gave him a 20 min warning. Nothing. 10 min. Nothing. 5 min. Still nothing. I nudged Chris and said "It's time". Chris walked downstairs, picked up Isaac's backpack, coat, and shoes. He walked over to Isaac who was still playing in his underwear and picked him up. He carried him out to the car, put him in his seat, and said, "It's time for school". Well, Isaac was both terrified and mortified. He started crying as Chris backed the car out of the garage and the crying turned into hysterics as Chris started driving to school. Fortunately for Isaac, Chris didn't go too far before bringing him back home (we are mean, but not that mean!). Isaac would not get out of the car until the garage door was fully closed, and then that kid ran upstairs and got dressed faster than I have ever seen him move in his life. He still went to school without breakfast and without brushing his teeth, but, at least he had clothes on!
When he got home from school, we talked about it. He had seriously wasted 45 minutes that morning! I showed him the morning checklist that I had made for him while he was gone, and asked him if he wanted to try again. He said yes and guess what?! This morning was GREAT! He got up, hopped in the shower, got out, got dressed, made his bed, ate breakfast, brushed his teeth, got his backpack ready, prayed with Chris, and happily checked things off of his checklist as he went along. No nagging. No yelling. And all it took to get him to take his responsibility seriously was almost going to school in his underwear! Lesson learned.
The worst came a couple of days ago. I got up and asked Isaac to get dressed then went downstairs to start making breakfast. I called him down about 10 minutes later- the other two came running, but, no Isaac. I went upstairs and he was in the toy room playing, still in his underwear. We made it through breakfast with minimal disagreements, although he wasn't happy about what I had him eat, and then I sent him back upstairs to (I know, it's so mean of me) get dressed. He stomped up the stairs and then just stood in his room and did nothing until I went in there and got mad at him again. He wouldn't put a shirt on so I found one for him. Of course, he got mad about that too. This kid is worse than a teenage girl! He doesn't have many shirts to choose from in the first place, but, I can guarantee that if it is one that I like, he hates it! Being the mean mom that I am, I made him put it on anyway and then told him to go in and brush his teeth. He stormed out of his room, but, do you think he went into the bathroom? Of course not. I went down to check on his brothers, and when I came back, there he was, back in the toy room. It was like a tug of war, all morning. I spent the whole time nagging and yelling at him and he spent the whole time doing everything BUT actually get ready for school. It was a miracle that he made it on time.
When I got home, I started feeling bad. I don't want Isaac to leave for school every morning upset and frustrated and I don't want to spend all morning nagging and being angry. I formulated a plan. When he got home from school that day, I sat him down and told him what I was thinking. The next day, I was going to tell him when he needed to start getting ready. I would make breakfast, and I would help him if he needed it, but I wasn't going to tell him what to do or when to do it. I told him that he has been getting ready for school for a year and a half now, he knows what needs to be done, so I was turning the responsibility over to him. I would give him a 20 min warning, 10 min warning, etc. but, he was going to be in charge, not me. He liked this idea, and so we started talking about what he needs to do in the morning- he rattled off a list. He was ready to get started.
The next day I did just as promised. I told him when it was time for him to start getting ready. He said OK and then did nothing. I made breakfast. Jason and Adam happily came in and ate, Isaac's plate just sat there. I gave him a 20 min warning. Nothing. 10 min. Nothing. 5 min. Still nothing. I nudged Chris and said "It's time". Chris walked downstairs, picked up Isaac's backpack, coat, and shoes. He walked over to Isaac who was still playing in his underwear and picked him up. He carried him out to the car, put him in his seat, and said, "It's time for school". Well, Isaac was both terrified and mortified. He started crying as Chris backed the car out of the garage and the crying turned into hysterics as Chris started driving to school. Fortunately for Isaac, Chris didn't go too far before bringing him back home (we are mean, but not that mean!). Isaac would not get out of the car until the garage door was fully closed, and then that kid ran upstairs and got dressed faster than I have ever seen him move in his life. He still went to school without breakfast and without brushing his teeth, but, at least he had clothes on!
When he got home from school, we talked about it. He had seriously wasted 45 minutes that morning! I showed him the morning checklist that I had made for him while he was gone, and asked him if he wanted to try again. He said yes and guess what?! This morning was GREAT! He got up, hopped in the shower, got out, got dressed, made his bed, ate breakfast, brushed his teeth, got his backpack ready, prayed with Chris, and happily checked things off of his checklist as he went along. No nagging. No yelling. And all it took to get him to take his responsibility seriously was almost going to school in his underwear! Lesson learned.
11 comments:
Monica,
I am so impressed that you actually followed through, I would tell Caleb that he would go to school in his underwear and then chicken out and start the yelling. Good for you!!
OH Monica. This is why I love you so much!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!
so funny!!! You are a great Mom:) Is it your birthday today? Happy Birthday!
Blake had the same issue when he was in kindergarten, but by getting him an alarm clock and making him responsible, we haven't had a problem since. Now Nathan, on the other hand, is going to give me a head full of gray hair and a stroke at the ripe old age of 32. My mom always tells me that "you've already lost the battle if you're owning the problem" so obviously, I'm losing! I've thought about hauling him to school in his pj's but I'm too chicken when it comes right down to it! You've given me renewed strength to fix our issue as well! Way to go!
Love the way you handled it! Kisses from Rio, m
Happy Birthday Monica!!! I hope that you have had a great day today! I loved this post. I am NOT a morning person at all either. I will have to remember this strategy for the future!!
They (I don't know who "they" is) say you are finally a good parent when the kids say they hate you. So chalk it up to one success, hurray for you. But I laughed and laughed all the way through it. Just think three more kids ........ well this is only one for Isaac. Anyway good job.
That is awesome Monica! I am going to have to remember that because if I have any children that are like me I will for sure have to deal with this problem. I love it, good job!! The best part is that he will never forget it.
kids need to suffer consequences and not be bailed out all the time. Good job! Now if only the government could learn that lesson. Ever thought of running for public office?
Monica, you completely exhaust me and put all of my efforts to shame. I love that you are willing to share stories like this, I need all the help I can get.
I can't believe you are pregnant...wait...yes I can! You need to have at least a dozen, you're such a good mom and wife. I can just see Chris beaming already, I love that he gets so excited about having more kids.
I'll be calling you so I can come and help out!
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